TUESDAY 20TH NOVEMBER 2018

THE WORD ‘CANAPÉ’ ORIGINATED IN ANCIENT GREECE, WHERE A ‘KONOPS’ IS A MOSQUITO, SO A MOSQUITO NET WAS A ‘KONOPION’.  THE ROMANS ADAPTED IT AS ‘CONOPEUM’, THEN IT SNUCK INTO MIDDLE ENGLISH (VIA THE FRENCH ‘CONOPÉ / CANOPE) AS ‘CANOPE’, WAS EVENTUALLY SPELLED CANOPY AND THEN I GUESS SOMEONE THOUGHT LITTLE BITS OF BREADISHNESS WITH TEENY TINY TOPPINGS LOOKED LIKE CURTAINS. WHICH THEY DON’T. WHICH MAKES NO SENSE - VIA WIKTIONARY, BECAUSE AN EVENT I’M GOING TO ON THURSDAY HAS A CHAMPAGNE RECEPTION WITH CANAPÉS - OOH, FANCY! - AND, WELL, I JUST GOT CURIOUS…

AND

THE CATALAN NATIVITY SCENE FEATURES THIS GUY. I SHIT YOU NOT (SORRY, I MEAN I HAD TO). WELL, ‘TIS THE SEASON AND ALL THAT. BUT HOW DULCOLAX ARE NOT ALL OVER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME I HAVE NO IDEA. OTHER THAN THAT IT WOULD BE HORRIBLY INAPPROPRIATE AND OFFENSIVE. NO MORE SO THAN A SAUSAGE ROLL BABY JESUS THOUGH, SURELY? NOW THAT’S ONE BRAND PARTNERSHIP I’M DYING TO SEE… - VIA RICH SIEGEL.