SUNDAY 24TH MARCH 2019

RIP.IE, THE ONLINE DEATH REGISTRY FOR IRELAND, ALLOWS YOU TO SIGN UP FOR NOTIFICATIONS MEANING THAT YOU GET A TEXT MESSAGE LETTING YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE IN YOUR PARISH SNUFF IT. AND YOU CAN NOW GET GLUTEN FREE “BODY OF CHRIST” AT TRANSUBSTANTIATION (THAT’S THE FREE WINE AND WAFERS PART OF THE SERVICE) - VIA THE BEAUTIFUL, HILARIOUS (AND INCREDIBLY RELIGIOUSLY KNOWLEDGEABLE) CATHERINE BOHART IN HER PHENOMENAL SHOW IMMACULATE.

AND

FEMALE KOALAS ARE THREE TIMES AS LIKELY TO GO FOR THE LADIES. ALTHOUGH IF YOU'RE OFFERED OFFERED DOUBLE THE “SEXY TIME” TO PLAY FOR THE SAME TEAM, SURELY ITS A NO-BRAINER EVEN FOR EVEN THE MOST COMMITTED HETEROSEXUAL MARSUPIALS - VIA QIKIPEDIA (C/O MAE MARTIN, WHO’S EVIDENTLY COOL WITH THIS NEWS).