TUESDAY 7TH MAY 2019

INSPIRED BY SUSAN SONTAG’S SEMINAL 1964 ESSAY ‘NOTES ON CAMP’, THIS YEAR’S MET GALA THEME WAS ‘CAMP: NOTES ON FASHION’ AND, WELL, IT WAS ONE HELLA CAMP.

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LET’S BE HONEST, ONE DRESS WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR LADY GAGA.

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PLEASE DELIGHT ALL THEIR (EDGE OF) GLORY#SEEWHATIDIDTHERE

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SAY WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT THE FROUFROU, NO OTHER WOMEN WILL EVER LOOK AS BEAUTIFUL DRESSED AS TOILET ROLL COVERS THAN LARA CONDOR AND EMMA ROBERTS LOOKED DRESSED AS TOILET ROLL COVERS. DIVINE.

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YEAH, MEGASTAR CELEBRITIES WEARING HEAD-TO-TOE COUTURE ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO STICK TO A NO SELFIE RULE. SORRY KIM AND KANYE DIDN’T? AND JUSTIN THEROUX BROKE IT TOO? AND ZENDAYA (NOPE, NO IDEA EITHER)? AND GWEN STEFANI AND KENDALL JENNER AND SERENA WILLIAMS AND, WELL, EVERY FUCKING MEGASTAR CELEBRITY WEARING HEAD-TO-TOE COUTURE? EVEN YOU KNOW THAT WAS A POINTLESS EXERCISE MET GALA PEOPLE. WHICH NO DOUBT YOU’LL GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF AGAIN NEXT YEAR. THREE TIMES A CHARM, AND ALL THAT, EH?

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NO BIG DEAL, JUST KATY PERRY DRESSED AS A CHANDELIER.

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ON BEHALF OF INTROVERTS EVERYWHERE, I’D LIKE TO THANK HAILEE STEINFIELD FOR OFFICIALLY TAKING UP THE POST OF FASHION MUSE. YEAH, YOU HEARD US#ALLTHEESSENTIALS

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I MEAN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SPECTACLE WAS VIA THIS MAN. ANDREW BOLTON, TAKE A BOW, SIR. BRING ON NEXT YEAR… #REDCARPETPORN